Free to Be

When you think of yourself, when people ask you to describe yourself, what do you first think of? Is it gender? Or maybe something else? Have you ever thought about it? If you don't think of gender, is it because it does not matter to you, or because it seems so self-evident that there is no need to explicitly refer to it? Why do we constantly define ourselves in terms of gender? And when you think of gender, does it automatically imply a particular biological sex for you?

Many people do not pause to think about gender because it has been naturalized in our society. It is assumed that the general and right way for things to be is that women has female parts and are feminine. Likewise, men have male parts and are masculine. The whole system is believed to be based on biological sex. Riki Wilchins asks why we define ourselves according to our genitalia. Our genitalia - think about it. Is that who or what you are - a penis or a vagina? Really? Is that how you want to be known? And why is it so important for other people to know immediately what body parts are underneath your clothing? Why? Is your whole existence wrapped up in whether you have a cock or a cunt?

I'm hoping the vulgarity will shock you a bit, honestly, and cause you to seriously consider whether or not your genital formations are really the most important thing about you. I'd like to believe that most people don't conceptualize themselves as reproductive organs. In fact, I think many people may prefer to be known for what they do - a doctor, Broadway star, or an academic - or perhaps for the relationships they hold most dear - parent, spouse, lover. But still, we are compelled to constantly identify ourselves - nay, declare to the world - what is between our legs, be it on paperwork we fill out for any number of things, online profiles, or how we walk, talk, dress, and interact with others. We become walking advertisements for our dicks and clits. Is that what you want to project to the world? "Hello, shaft, I'm a cunt." "Nice to meet you cunt! I'm a first-rate prick, by the way!"

Does your body language speak this way when you meet people? Are you unconsciously or maybe consciously telling people what kind of sexual organs you are - a first-class penis who gets what he wants? An insecure vagina who can probably be manipulated by an aggressive dick? Do you realize how much of our communication is gendered?

I'd like to see more occupations and relationships on display, or maybe core values, without sex accompanying them. What does that look like? Can you imagine? What would it be like if we went through life as beings who didn't define themselves according to sexual functioning? What if we treated people according to their contributions to society? Their consideration of others? Not according to their reproductive potential. Can we do that? Have we evolved to a place where it is possible?

I don't know, be we can certainly try. Try being just an athlete, just an educator, just an administrator. Just for a day or two. Gender is still too volatile, too wrapped up in power schemes, for us to quit it cold turkey. Or even just stop using it as a primary identification. But we can move in that direction. What new worlds are possible? An Anthropology professor once mentioned in class that people are limited most by what they believe to be possible. When you begin to deconstruct hegemonic discourse, you open the way for new ways of thinking and being. The possibilities are vast, if we allow for it.

What kind of world do you want to live in?